OCMamaForever

New Venture!

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Wed, 30 May 2007 01:54:00 +0000

So annoyed

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Fri, 18 May 2007 18:53:00 +0000

OMG I get SO pissed at people who make statements like the one made on the Garden WRT the computer and our MM's. Excuse me, but first of all, I don't recall anyone asking for your OPINION on MM's using the computer and second of all... WTF do you think you are? Neither one of my kids are bumps on a log and they have both used the computer at a young age. I suppose if you park them in front of the monitor all day its no better then the T.V. but come on. Who is doing that? Not me. I use it as a tool in addition to reading books and coloring and all the other stuff I work my ass off to squeeze into my very busy day.

I also love how a woman with one child feels justified in telling me, someone who has FOUR kids, from 7 to 10 months, during the week what I should not be doing. WTF ever. Walk a day in my shoes and tell me again what I'm doing wrong.

So :op Take that. How ya like me now?

LMAO Sorry to rant, but ugh that really made me mad.

Jubilation!!

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Thu, 17 May 2007 20:52:00 +0000

My new Hyena Cart store is up and doing well! I'm so very excited by my newfound craft. :o) Sewing is so much fun.

Anyhow, I am doing better. Thanks to everyone who has been a source of comfort and support these past weeks, it's a rocky road but we'll get to the end! Together. :)

So that's it. Just wanted to share my happiness with my new project. I have things to sew, gotta go!!

Here I am

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Wed, 16 May 2007 02:46:00 +0000

I wanna have the same last dream again,
the one where I wake up and I'm alive.
Just as the four walls close me within,
my eyes are opened up with pure sunlight.

my dearest friends,
even if your hope has burned with time,
anything that's dead shall be re-grown,
and your vicious pain, your warning sign,
you will be fine.

Any type of love - it will be shown,
like every single tree reach for the sky.
If you're gonna fall,
I'll let you know,
that I will pick you up
like you for I,
I felt this thing,
I can't replace.

Call me and explain

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Sat, 12 May 2007 17:59:00 +0000

Was that supposed to help? It didn't. You are wrong about so many things, including me. I know that doesn't happen to you often, but it is right now. A friend doesn't just stop being a friend because you make a decision that doesn't sit well. At least I wouldn't have. The only reason I'm doing it now is because my heart can't take the attacks. You will find out later that you are wrong, of that I'm sure. By that time it will probably be too late to repair. Maybe not, I guess we will cross that bridge if we ever come to it.

It's not healthy? For who? You or me? Because my God, please tell me what about the entire situation is healthy? Driving out the people you care about and who care about you is whats not healthy. It doesn't have to be like this. It just doesn't. If you cared enough you would have made it work, like I was trying to do.

You're right about one thing. I don't agree with your choice, I told you before I just don't want you to do something that has huge ramifications that you could regret one. You can never take this back my friend, and any damage that it does will be hard as hell for you to repair. One day you will have to answer her questions and I hope you have something better to say to her then you did to me.

I miss you already. I sent you a Mother's Day card a few weeks ago that you'll get tomorrow. Obviously disregard the mush mush'ing and "call me" But don't ignore the part about how much I love you and want the best for you. I mean that still.

I have nowhere else to go

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Sat, 12 May 2007 02:08:00 +0000

Ok so that isn't technically true. I guess I could purge my guts to the board-again. But I don't want to. I'm tired of dragging my guts out for everyone to see. I appreciate the support I've gotten so much but I need to vent in a place where you can either choose to read it or not. Not everyone knows about my blog anyhow.

This is eating away at me like nothing I have ever experienced. I have literally been sobbing for 2 days now. So much so that my eyes are just about swollen shut. My husband actually took pity on me and brought me home dinner and a special dessert. This is huge coming from someone who can't understand how online friends are, in fact, actual friends.

I feel like I broke up with my first boyfriend, you know that awful feeling that nothing will ever be right? For example, I'm moving home to CA and I'm wondering how I'm going to do that without Tarina. As if she was going to be here packing or something. I know, I'm insane.

I'm checking my inbox like crazy and running like a madwoman to my cell each time it rings, thinking FOR SURE this time it will be her saying she can't do this either.

But it's not. I keep thinking that maybe the best thing about this for her is the love of a friend, sometimes its just enough to know it's there. Even if she didn't earn it, or want it or need it. There it is, no matter how bad it gets. She wants me to go, so I will let her be... No matter how much I want to pick up the phone. I won't. But she is killing me. This is killing me. But she doesn't want me to care right now. Maybe she never will again. Maybe she'll call me tomorrow. She's stronger then that though. Anyhow who can flat out tell someone they are close to that they don't want their friendship isn't going to be fazed by my outpouring of grief. She's changed her IM, I fully expect her to boot me off her friends list & make it private, and then change her email. She probably will never even see this.

I hope she doesn't. This morning I wanted her to just fucking notice. I wanted her to feel bad that she is doing this. I know she said she did in her blog but it wasn't enough. Now I am back to just the worst sadness, but I don't want to share it with her. I want her to be happy. I want her to not look back if that's what she wants. I want her to feel like she tied up every loose end she could and move on. Because this is what she wants.

What I've Done

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 18:09:00 +0000

See what I've done in bold type.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it (everyday for the rest of my life)
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (from the beach)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise (LOTS!)
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper (Everyday!!)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger.
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice (does the Venetian in Vegas count? LOL)
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children/currently raising child
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild (that was fun)
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head (don't ask)
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life. (my own)

What I'm Listening To

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 21:28:00 +0000

I've been tagged by my favorite blogger, CrunchyCon!!

So here is what I'm listening to, mostly at home since I don't get out much.

1. Recurring Dream, The Best of Crowded House. Mostly Better Be Home Soon and Distant Sun. (Thanks T)
2. Awake: The Best of Live. I love Live. My wedding song is Dance With You.
3. A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar, Dashboard Confessional. All of it. Repeatedly.
4. Lots of Depeche Mode. Black Celebration, Sweetest Perfection, When the Body Speaks, To Have and To Hold, and But Not Tonight.
5. Our Lady Peace: A Decade
6. Credence Clearwater Revival. Not sure of the albums names since it is a mix I put together years ago.

That's about it, other then the occasional Fergie. Ha!

The challenge

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 05:37:00 +0000

Hola faithful Garden hoes. I know, I know. I'll wait for you SIX to pick yourself up off your keyboards since surely the shock of yet another NEW post in such a short time span has left you in a dead faint.

Ha.

Ok so anyhow, you may recall my post on Michael taking the test for the Challenge Program at his school. He did and he passed. Put the confetti away. Oh was that just me? Sorry.

The director and I had a long chat about Michael's *social* maturity. After that chat and an even longer chat with DH we have decided to keep him where he is for now. I feel like that's such a letdown after the build up I gave it but hear me out. I do not believe that he is applying himself to learning the BASICS. I think it all comes easy so he breezes through. I mean his handwriting is atrocious. And when he is given an assignment with 3-4 different steps, like circle the nouns, underline the verbs etc, he is allllll over the place. "Oh that's a noun! Verb! Verb! Noun!"

SO. I am going to homeschool him after school. We are working on penmanship, taking our time to follow directions carefully. Extra artsy stuff. I'm like Kumon at home. I want to be as complementary to his current schooling as possible without killing him or giving him busy work. But I really want him to learn how to learn so that when he does finally head off to bigger and better things, he is really ready. Not just intellectually, but mentally and socially.

On the lighter side of things, Benjamin has decided he LOVES homework. So I bought him a little workbook too. He has the greatest time "working" with his big brother. Hopefully he is getting something out of this as well.

Oh the SHAME!

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 19:50:00 +0000

Of being publicly called out for the non-update status of your blog. LOL I am so sorry to the devout 4 of you who read my blog! I know you know I've been busy adjusting to week-day life with 5 kids. The majority of whom are 3 and younger. It's busy. But fun of course. I love kids and babies. And yes, I am insane. LOL

Things are good! DH got a job as a Kitchen Manager/Executive Chef and he loves it. We got a great tax return and paid off all our late bills and put a good chunk into savings.

Thats all!

Five Food Things

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 03:33:00 +0000

Five Food Things:
More yay! Because I'm SURE there is a burning neeeeeed within you all to know:

1) I LOVE sweet pickles. So much that I will eat sweet relish straight from the jar.

2) I am a total apple chip addict. They are SO good.

3) I drink gallons of iced tea a week.

4) I cannot stand for any of the food on my plate to (gasp!) TOUCH! OMG ew.

5) I make a mean pound cake from scratch. With one lb of butter its aptly named.

Yay! I am LOVED!

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:58:00 +0000

I was feeling SO left out of the whole Virtual Cocktail party hoopla!! And my dear sweet CK knew just how to fix this! Yippee and thanks darling!!

5 things you didn't know about me:

1) I chose to transfer to the high school I graduated from because a cute boy I kissed in middle school attended there. I ended up shoving him off me back to the drivers side of his Range Rover and running home in tears after our first and only date.

2)I have a serious hair twirling problem, exacerbated by stress and exhaustion. The left piece of hair right in the front in a good 4 to 5 inches shorter then the right.

3) I was in fact NOT named after Elvis Presley's daughter.

4) I have ALWAYS wanted to be a teacher. I still do.

5)I know every single word to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. I have seen it on stage 3 times and cried every time.

Just keep truckin on

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 06:29:00 +0000

So DH has 2 part time jobs starting tomorrow. This is a just for now deal until he gets a final offer from the place we are hoping for. It seems that I can officially label 2006 as the most hectic year of my life. You know what though? I can also say that I'm ok with that. I honestly wouldn't change a thing. It has been incredibly trying, that's true. But it has also been eye opening.

On to Christmas! The boys made out nicely. I must say that my favorite gift this year was by far from my favorite Garden hoes. And not just because it's a great gift. (It is.) Because it is so perfect for me. It does make me giggle to think that 3 women I have never physically met know me SO WELL. I suppose hours of IM's, thousands of message board posts and countless phone calls will lead to that, but still. Even if it had been a tube of lip gloss I would still have been so touched. It feels good to know I am on someone's mind. I love the three of you. I really do. I could love you no more if we were friends IRL. It is my feverent wish to be able to tell you that in person some day! To give you each a hug and just shoot the breeze for a while.

Someday, right?

I will add one thing though, totally off subject. Simply because I need to get it off my chest. Today was very hard. I missed my family. I do not know what God's plan for me is, and that's ok. I just prayed tonight for peace. And patience. I need to slow down and realize that I'm part of a bigger picture here. Why am I here? What can I learn? And what is God trying to tell me? I will never know until I stop, take a deep breath, and just listen. I am a planner, kwim? I need to know what the game plan so I can go go go. Get it done. So of course there is a lesson here. Let go and let God.

I am sincerely trying. It's much harder then it sounds, especially for a control freak like me. LOL

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

And because I happen to like it, Psalm 46:

1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Night!

Another absence

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 18:33:00 +0000

Sorry I have been gone AGAIN. DH is still on the job hunt. Many interviews, many 2nds and call backs but nothing for sure yet. I know he is anxious. I am as well. We are both pretty tired of each other LOL Well, that's my update for now. I'll try to update more often, but with DH home all damn day its hard. Ugh.

Anticipation

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 17:29:00 +0000

Well thankfully my disappointment over the recent elections is overshadowed by my impending vacation!!! Yipppppppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! We will hit up Disneyland (for free since BIL works there) I can't wait to drop the kids with my mom, grab my DH and take a drive down PCH (Pacific Coast Highway), just like we used to as teenagers. Down to the Balboa Pennisula and back up to at least Newport. We have this place by Crystal Cove in Newport Beach. I'm pretty sure it's the official makeout spot for South OC kids LMAO But it overlooks the tidepools and jetty off PCH and Marguerite, the one with a lighthouse. It's so quiet and beautiful. I can't wait. I can't wait to spend ALL of Sunday night with Mindy. No kids, just us on her porch, sipping Starbucks liquor and eventually champagne. She has a heater out there on the porch, so we should stay warm. Despite to 70 degree weather. LMAO

There are other things we will do, but these are what I'm waiting for....

We be "illin"

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:59:00 +0000

Is that even the right spelling? LOL Oh well. I feel like C-R-A-P. My body hurts and my head hurts and my throat hurts. Thank God for nap time. And the promise of Nyquil tonight. Ahhh.

Come Undone

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:46:00 +0000

Does it seem to anyone else that our country is unraveling at lightning speed? I mean we are all at each others throats about "the issues" Don't get me wrong, I stand to the Right and I am passionate about my beliefs. But all this name-calling, the implication that such and such group is stupid because they don't believe like I do. The anger and violence. It's just so out of control. It's crazy. We are all in this together, like it or not. And we are not going to change anything for the better if we don't stop tearing each other to pieces.

Thank you TRU

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:44:00 +0000

Thank you Toys R Us for sending that giant, shiny, 50-paged ad to my home in this Sunday's newpaper. It was so thoughtful how you placed it right in the middle of my Sunday coupons. Right where my 6 year old just couldn't miss it. And so helpful how you included that blurb on the front page instructing said 6 year old to just check the YES box next to the toys he wants. Yes thank you for all the overpriced, battery operated junk. The kind of toys with no off switch that I will inevitably step on on my way to pee at 2 a.m. The kind that will sound like the detonation of a WWII land mine.

Thank you for the educational toys as well. That are so expensive my husband and I will need to take out a second mortgage just to pay for them.

*sigh*

Photo shoot by Michael

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:28:00 +0000

Adventures in Babysitting

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:25:00 +0000

Just FYI when one baby removes his diaper and runs around screaming, the other two babies are compelled to also remove their diapers and run around screaming. So not only am I wondering what the neighbors think (I have a huge window in the living room), my eardrums are also bleeding.

Michael

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:15:00 +0000

Is 6 1/2 years old, right? Not 16, not 26, hell not even double digits. But just TRY telling him that. Ever since he started first grade, found friends on our street and started taking the bus to and from school.. well he thinks he is the baddest mo-fo in Seattle. Starting Monday of this week he was no longer allowed to play his Gameboy with his friends on the front porch. Why? Because not once, not twice, but THREE times I walked outside to check on him and found him halfway up the block, chasing his buddies. After he was given specific instructions to STAY ON THE PORCH. So now he has gotten that privledge revoked. He struts around here telling me what he is going to do...

Michael: I'm going to paint my dragons now.

Me: No, Michael. Please wait until tomorrow so Dad can take Benjamin outside or something where he won't bother you.

Michael: *huge sigh* Oh Mom, I told you IT'S FINE. I'll lay some newspaper down and it will be ok.

Me: Um, no. I said wait.

Michael: It's not that big of a deal MOM. It'll be ok!!! *exasperation dripping from every word*

You will note now that the box of dragons remains unopened on top of the fridge, waiting for paint. And the child in question remains in his closet, waiting for food. Just kidding. Kinda.

He invites his friends in, serves them our food, takes them into my bedroom for tours. Lets them borrow his Gameboy. (I nipped that in the bud)

Sweet jiminy, what am I in for when he really is a teenager???????

Friends!

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 16:48:00 +0000

Online friends specifically. Who knew? Who knew I could feel so close to a group of women I never met, many of whom I will never meet. We have seen each other through birth, through death, been there for the ups and the downs. Provided steadfast support to each other no matter what. I am eternally grateful for all of you!!!

Nutritionists around the world are crying

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 01:55:00 +0000

I'm pretty sure this is not any healthy, normal persons idea of a pre-workout snack. 'Cept me.

I had TWO

Back from my break

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 21:03:00 +0000

I took a blogging break. There has really been nothing new to report that I hadn't already shared on the board. But I was gently reminded that I am due for an update. LOL Thanks CK.

I could drone on and on about how much better I am feeling about everything. Because really I am. I must have been in some state of depression for many years now because I am functioning on a level I thought I would never get to again. So that is good.

But mostly I wanted to share this. I have found something here in Washington that I would never have found in California. I am needed. More then I need from others. I am no longer the child out here. I am an adult on my own 2 feet and not only do other people count on me, I am capable of being counted on.

Days 5-8

noreply@blogger.com (OCMama) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 20:00:00 +0000

GOOD! Better.

I struggled Friday and Saturday with feeling a little drained and listless again, but Sunday I took a full tablet and voila! Today I feel great. My house is semi-clean. I am dressed. I brushed my hair. No banshee like screaming at the kids. YAY! YAY! YAY! It still makes me a bit drowsy but I take it at night so it's not too bad.

I am however still having a hard time with sleep. I think that should work itself out though. I am a light sleeper anyhow and this apartment seems to be situated so that I hear everyone coming and going all night.

We looked at yet another house to rent this weekend and oooooooo I LOVE it. I should hear from the lady today on if we get it or not. I so hope we do but you know what? If we don't it won't be the end of the world. There are other houses.

So there, depression. You thought you had me but NOPE!