So Impossible

I'm still not feeling so great. I am thinking that right now is not a good time to make a decision about going home. I have been sick for over a month, and settling in is ALWAYS hard for She-who-hates-change. (me.) I am looking for a job, like a real job, and daycare for my kids. Hopefully keeping busy will help. If not at least we'll have some extra money to save for a trip home. Because it cost us over $3000 to move up here. Which is not generally an amount we have had on hand to date.

We are not going to buy a house right now either. Our days of impulsive child-like decision making need to come to an end. We are here in Washington. We would rather be back in California, this is true. But we are not. We are here.

Bloom where you're planted.

So on that note I am taking it hour by hour. Reminding myself that being married means sacrifice. Reminding myself that although the prospect of taking my kids and hoping on a plane, leaving DH here, is tempting; when I said "I do" I said I'd be his partner in life. I said I'd be here no matter what, beside him. I didn't say "as long as it's just what I want" Too bad. I should have included that clause. Foolish girl.

Ok enough sap and fluff. Basically I am trying to grow up. And it's hard, and awkward, and uncomfortable, and painful. But its life.

The end.