Be-be Brother *crying*: "Brooooooo-ther! Mama put Be-be in the naughty spot" (Tattle tail!)
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Big Brother: "So?"
LMFAO brotherly love at it's finest!
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Big Brother: "So?"
LMFAO brotherly love at it's finest!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
The sky glows
I see it shining with my eyes closed
I hear your warnings but we both know
I'm gonna look at it again
Don't wait,
Don't wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you're deep enough
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor downTo lay your armor down
You get one look
I'll show you something that the night took
A bit to early for my own good
Now let's not speak of it again
Don't wait,
Don't wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you're deep enough
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down
Don't wait,
Don't wait
The lights will flash and fade away
The days will pass you by
Don't wait
To lay your armor down
-Chris
I see it shining with my eyes closed
I hear your warnings but we both know
I'm gonna look at it again
Don't wait,
Don't wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you're deep enough
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor downTo lay your armor down
You get one look
I'll show you something that the night took
A bit to early for my own good
Now let's not speak of it again
Don't wait,
Don't wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you're deep enough
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down
Don't wait,
Don't wait
The lights will flash and fade away
The days will pass you by
Don't wait
To lay your armor down
-Chris
Saturday, June 10, 2006
LMAO Maybe I am bipolar or some other such disorder because I am no longer in such a frenzy to leave.... Or maybe everyone else in my shoes feels the same way I just like to talk and talk about it. But here you are reading so what does that say? ;) And I guess I love my husband. You Garden Hoes really know how to talk a girl down. I mean really. I'm still immature and impulsive enough to have left my husband over this. I'm really very lucky to have people like you in my life to steer me back on the right path. I love you all and want you to know I'm here if anyone ever needs me. I may not have tons of good advice but I care and I can listen. *hugs*
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Sorry I am a couple days late! CK's twins were are here!!! Welcome to the Garden Liam and Gavin and congrats CK! We knew yu could do it! Now the fun begins LOL I love you, take care and come home soon ok? We miss you!
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I know, I know. I have been seriously lacking in the update department. SORRY! I am just wallowing in self pity. You know, that can be really time consuming!
So basically it's like this. My marriage is not going to survive this move. I resent him for making me stay and he will resent me for making him go. We are comfortable financially for the first time in our life together. This means alot to him. I understand.
But on the other hand I am unhappy away from my family. Michael even said "Mom, I didn't know how it would feel to be so far away. I do now, and I don't like it." Ok I realize he is 6 but those could have been my words. I am depressed. I cry everyday. Not just a pretty tear or 2 but actual panicked sobbing. Panicked because the idea of not going home makes me feel completely freaked. Maybe I should be on medication.
I sit in the house all day. I haven't even made a real attempt at finding a church for us. We visited that one, with the dad who found Michael the day he was lost, but it just didn't feel the same as the church we left. Those people were actually like family. I felt like a part of them. I don't feel that here and I know it's not "here" it's me.
I cannot subject my husband to this anymore. He is a wreck. My kids are a wreck. Part of me wants to get my kids and my cat and just go. Leave DH here. He loves his job so much and the money well then here you go. A very small part wants to tough it out. And then the other part wants to help DH find another job in CA and try to make it as a whole family.
I haven't felt like I was in love with my husband for a few years now. When Michael was about 2, I took him and left Dh for about 3 months. He swore he'd change and things would be different etc. Well it's not. Because it wasn't all him to begin with. I have my own issues. We don't connect anymore. I don't want to kiss him or even really spend much time with him. When he left to come up here for a week (we still lived in CA) I didn't miss him. I didn't like being home alone at night but I didn't miss him. That's not right. A wife should want and love her husband. He is a great guy too, I mean he has given SO much for me and our kids. I want him to be happy. I just don't think it's going to be with me.
I just don't know what the hell I'm going to do....
So basically it's like this. My marriage is not going to survive this move. I resent him for making me stay and he will resent me for making him go. We are comfortable financially for the first time in our life together. This means alot to him. I understand.
But on the other hand I am unhappy away from my family. Michael even said "Mom, I didn't know how it would feel to be so far away. I do now, and I don't like it." Ok I realize he is 6 but those could have been my words. I am depressed. I cry everyday. Not just a pretty tear or 2 but actual panicked sobbing. Panicked because the idea of not going home makes me feel completely freaked. Maybe I should be on medication.
I sit in the house all day. I haven't even made a real attempt at finding a church for us. We visited that one, with the dad who found Michael the day he was lost, but it just didn't feel the same as the church we left. Those people were actually like family. I felt like a part of them. I don't feel that here and I know it's not "here" it's me.
I cannot subject my husband to this anymore. He is a wreck. My kids are a wreck. Part of me wants to get my kids and my cat and just go. Leave DH here. He loves his job so much and the money well then here you go. A very small part wants to tough it out. And then the other part wants to help DH find another job in CA and try to make it as a whole family.
I haven't felt like I was in love with my husband for a few years now. When Michael was about 2, I took him and left Dh for about 3 months. He swore he'd change and things would be different etc. Well it's not. Because it wasn't all him to begin with. I have my own issues. We don't connect anymore. I don't want to kiss him or even really spend much time with him. When he left to come up here for a week (we still lived in CA) I didn't miss him. I didn't like being home alone at night but I didn't miss him. That's not right. A wife should want and love her husband. He is a great guy too, I mean he has given SO much for me and our kids. I want him to be happy. I just don't think it's going to be with me.
I just don't know what the hell I'm going to do....
