Days 5-8

GOOD! Better.

I struggled Friday and Saturday with feeling a little drained and listless again, but Sunday I took a full tablet and voila! Today I feel great. My house is semi-clean. I am dressed. I brushed my hair. No banshee like screaming at the kids. YAY! YAY! YAY! It still makes me a bit drowsy but I take it at night so it's not too bad.

I am however still having a hard time with sleep. I think that should work itself out though. I am a light sleeper anyhow and this apartment seems to be situated so that I hear everyone coming and going all night.

We looked at yet another house to rent this weekend and oooooooo I LOVE it. I should hear from the lady today on if we get it or not. I so hope we do but you know what? If we don't it won't be the end of the world. There are other houses.


So there, depression. You thought you had me but NOPE!

Day 4 (late)

Sorry, I didn't get a chance to post yesterday.

Yesterday was good. Instead of feeling bad about alot of things, I feel a little better of them. I have alot more patience for my kids and hubby.

I took Michael to the ped and it is stress.. The dr told me its pretty common for kids his age to express stress in this way though. DH took Michael out just the 2 of them last night for dinner and I have been trying to make a special effort to hang with him too. Just reading together or something. I have been so wrapped up in myself I couldn't see past my own problems. My poor baby. I guess the good news is we do care and we are taking steps now to fix it.

I probably won't post any more this weekend. This blog is like my diary and I don't really want DH to know it exists. I like having a place to be totally unfiltered and I think if I knew he might read it, I would censor my thoughts.

Day 3

Ugh.. ok I'm am fighting a case of the super gags BAD right now. Remind me to NEVER again even so much as look as a can of fucking salmon. Please.

Today was a little droopy. I think that I am starting to adjust to the low dose I'm on, although I have another 3 days of this half a tablet nonsense.

I am also sad because Michael is having a hard time. I noticed a patch of thin thin thin hair where he has been pulling/twirling it. I'm assuming it is stress, I do the same thing when I am stressed. Although T reminded me not to project MY issues onto my child. LMAO Ok point taken. I'm still taking him to the ped tomorrow. So there.

On a YAY note, Benjamin has used the potty ALL day. He has had a diaper on once or twice but he takes it off and uses his little potty. Woohoo! That so rocks! I hope to have him mostly trained in the next 2 weeks!

Day 2

Better. I am still tired. I guess that is one of the side effects that should wear off after a week or so. But today is better.

I am really afraid to say I feel great just in case tomorrow I wake up crazy again, kwim? I still know, no matter where in Washington I am, exactly which way to the freeway that will take me home BUT I am functioning.

I didn't snap at either kid more than once today. And it was warrented the one time I did. LOL Well? Damn kids. ;)

All in all today has been a good day.

DH has called me twice just to see how I am doing. I am not sure if this is because he is worried about me or worried I am going to come unglued on the kids. LMAO Kidding. I am kidding. I wouldn't hurt my kids. See? Finding humor means I am ok, right? LOL

Day 1

I'm documenting this more for myself then anyone else. It has been so long since I updated this blog, I'm not sure anyone is even reading anymore...

So here we are, Day 1.

I'm sure most of what I'm feeling today has to do with the fact that I am getting help. I feel better today. Not great but better. I slept pretty restlessly last night, but I went to bed at 10:30 rather then 1 or 2 a.m. So yeah 9 hours of on & off sleep does feel better then 5 or 6. I cleaned out the mini-closet in the dining room. A project I had been putting off for no good reason other then there were Sims to play. It feels good to have that done. I still have very little patience and sadly Michael and Benjamin feel that all day. Today was better though. I am not saying anything has profoundly changed but at least a little.